Greetings From Rhinebeck and BadKitten--Day 3

Saturday morning was the kind of autumn mornings that poems are written about.  The light was perfect, the trees were in full blaze and the sky was that mix of dark gray clouds and bright blue sky that only happen this time of year.

I'm not sure if they schedule the NYS Sheep and Wool Festival for the fall every year so that we can all wear our sweaters and socks and hats or if they do it because all of the colors that you see driving there are so inspiring.  In the spring, the Taconic Parkway is awash in every shade of green.  In October, there's green, orange, yellow, red, brown, blue, gray, purple and even little hints of pink.  It's enough to take your breath away.

I found my favorite vendor in the first building I went into.  Snowshoe Farm has such wonderful alpaca and Terry is so very nice that I had to buy two skeins of lilac colored yarn from her.  I saw some great sock yarn but decided to wait and see what else was out there before I blew my whole budget.

And I had a very strict budget.  As you know, I've been broke.  So a few months ago, I started cashing in my cans and putting the little slips in an envelope in my car to save up for Rhinebeck.  I stopped at the A&P on my way and cashed them in (that's half the fun--not knowing how much I had) and walked out with $53.05.  Rockin!  A lovely, generous woman had thrown me a $20 the other day to "buy myself something nice" so I had a total of $73.05 and I only ended up going $4.95 over.  I think that's pretty impressive.

I came upon this sheep.

Hmm.  Who would expect the KKK grand wizard sheep to be at Rhinebeck.  We had a little talk, he and I, about the beauty of learning about others and sharing in their culture.  I think I got through to him.  I heard that later in the day, he and one of the llamas were trying to cut the line together to get chicken pot pie.

I almost came home with another kitten but stopped myself when I realized that there truly is such a thing as a crazy cat lady and I don't want to be one.

I stood for a while and admired the peace garden.

And I had me a nice lamb sandwich for lunch.  Yum.

At the end of my tour around, I realized that the only other thing that I really wanted was that skein of sock yarn at Snowshoe Farm so I wandered back over and it was still sitting their patiently waiting for me.

I didn't find of the friends that I went there expecting to meet up with but I did run into Earthtones Girl and I met Knitgrrl  who was very very cool.

On the way home, a hawk flew into my windshield which was kind of a surprise.  The hawk was fine as was I and he was really quite beautiful.  He may have  lump or two but I'm pretty sure he survived.

And of course, we shall finish things out with BadKitten Day 3.  Iron and Wine's "Boy With A Coin".  Very cool song.

I Really Enjoy It When Things Come Together

Several years ago, I met Kenny Loggins.  It was just for a second and he was really really nice. 

Several years ago, I also met my friend Mark and it feels like I only knew him for a second.  He was gone way too soon. 

Yesterday was his Viking Funeral and, as surprising as it may seem, Winnie the Pooh came up a lot!

And, in the most wonderfully synergistic way, this is our selection from BadKitten today.  I give you Day 2 of 40 Days of BadKitten and I do believe that Mark is listening.

40 Days of BadKitten

Let's start out with the fact that, for the most part, radio is dead.  And I weep softly for the radio of yore.  I was raised in a household with a lot (and I mean a lot of music).  My dad had a kick ass stereo and he played it really loud (still does actually).  And his taste in music was really eclectic (still is actually).  On any given day we could be listening to The Elephant's Memory or The Student Prince or Japanese Folk Songs or Slim Whitman or Nelson Eddy and Jeanette McDonald. 

And I inherited that gene from Pop.  There are about 9,000 songs on my iPod of all different genres.  But, at some point, they just stop.

Because radio died. 

And if you are of my generation, that's where you learned about new music.  We had WLIR.  We had Scott Munie (I actually have a playlist on my iPod called Bless Me Scott Munie for I Have Sinned to keep all of my really embarrassing songs together.  Hello?  The Night Chicago Died?  Oh the shame.)

So I've suffered from new music withdrawal. 

A few years ago, I was at a family party and walked outside where the valet parkers were hanging out while they waited for us all to leave.  I think that's probably a pretty boring job--rush rush rush when everyone arrives, sit around for hours while everyone is inside have a good time, rush rush rush when everyone leaves--so they were playing some music.  As soon as I walked up they apologized for the noise and turned off their player.  I said don't worry about--I like Eminem.  And they looked at me like I had 10 heads.  We ended up having a really great conversation about music and agreed that the next time I came out, they would have a list of 5 bands that they thought were great and I would give them a list of 5 albums that they had probably never heard of that they had to check out.  The only rule--don't second guess what you think the other person would like, just share what you think is terrific.

And the list they gave me was great.  It's actually still hanging on my fridge.  So I started asking young people, on a regular basis, what they thought was great music right now and checking it out.  I feel like I'm creating my own personal network of Music Directors. 

At knitting group last week, I was talking to BadKitten and we started talking about music.  So of course, I asked her to make me a list.  I made her a CD of great songs from my day which, naturally, I forgot to bring last Thursday.

She showed up with a list for me on pretty blue paper written in pencil (I love pencils) and pink magic marker of, are you ready, 40 SONGS!!!

That's right, 40 SONGS!!!!!

So we are going to add a little feature to the blog for the next 40 days (I'll also be posting them on facebook) called 40 Days of BadKitten. 

And in the spirit of all things good, she started me out with a bonus track.

So I give you "Prelude 12/21" and "Miss Murder" by AFI (there's a little note on the list that says they're sort of connected).  Enjoy.





Sorry about the ad at the beginning of Miss Murder.  It's only a few seconds long.

The Year of Living Generously--Part 2

I warned you that this generosity thing was going to be multi-parter. 

So the pillow wasn't the only great thing about knitting group the other night.  Last week, BadKitten and I had a really fun conversation. At least I thought it was fun.   Well, it turned out that she thought it was fun too because she showed up with something really cool for me.  I know this is a little bit of a tease but I'm going to launch a new feature on the blog tomorrow so you'll hear all about it then.

New topic--being generous is not always easy.  But I do think it's worth it and I like the way it makes me feel.  And, in an odd way, I'm glad that there has been a little bit of struggle along with all the benefits of it.  Because so far, each time I've ended up feeling like I did the right the thing and that was the point here, right?

Tomorrow I'm going to a memorial service for a dear friend.  And a few weeks ago, I realized that another person who really cared for Mark was no longer in my life but would probably want to know about the service.  At the same time, a few funny little things on the web came along (thank you facebook friends) that I thought would amuse him, so, even though I haven't seen or spoken to him in months, I forwarded them to him.  Yes, I know, that's a very passive way of reaching out to someone but I really wanted to start slowly.
And I got no response.  Crap.  My passive approach got me no closer to letting him know about the service.

So I took a slightly less passive approach (but yes, I know, still passive) and sent a text message.  I composed what I thought was a really nice message.  But maybe I was too honest.  I told him that I no longer had any hard feelings even though I still felt that I had some unfinished business with him.  And I said that I was still seeking closure and some resolution but that I was really progressing in that and that I hoped he was well and happy.  I asked if we could talk because I had a few things to tell him.

I expected to get a response to this (it's summarized above just so you can get the jist of it--it was a really nice message).  I thought he was say sure and I would get to tell him about Mark's service.  And I did get a response but, ironically, it was pretty snippy and he informed me that he saw no reason to talk to me.

Crap again.  I should have just sent the text about Mark's service and left out anything personal because, really, my life has been so much better without this person.  I just thought that, since we ended so poorly, a little kindness was in order. 

And  now here I was stuck with him still not knowing about the service.  And I'll tell you, I really struggled with that this week.  But, I knew all along that this was not about me--it was about Mark.  So last night, I manned up and left a very simple message with the details.  And it was hard.  I'm sure my voice was shaking and I probably sounded like an idiot but I did it and guess what? I felt great when it was done. 

Because I had done the right thing, even though it was difficult for me to do.  More proof that generosity is the right choice.   

I'm off to Rhinebeck for NYS Sheep and Wool and it's an amazingly beautiful day.  I'm going to be with my people--and I'm going to relish every moment of it.

To be continued....

The Year of Living Generously--Part 1

My New Year's Resolution this year was to be more generous of spirit in 2010.  Now please understand, this was not a self deprecating resolution.   I believe that, in general, I am quite a generous person.  But this idea was something different.  For me, it was about generosity of spirit with intent.

I've always felt that there is enough misery in the world and I should actively try not to contribute to it.  But I never tried to actively contribute to generosity in the world.  So that's what the resolution was about for me--to actively try to be nice.  For the most part I'm nice (I won't say always--I've had my moments) but it has always been out of habit rather than actually deciding to be nice. 

And guess what?  It has turned out that acting with intent has amazing consequences.  I've discovered that when you choose to act in kindness, then kindness comes back to you.  In spades.  Hello--I know that this is not a new idea.  Karma?  What?  It's just been really moving for me lately.   There's a reason that this post is "Part 1".  There has been a whole lot of karma happening lately but there was a big incident tonight that I need to tell you about.

I went to knitting group tonight with a bag full of beautiful new yarn that Granny and Pop bought for me this weekend. (On sale--even better.)  I thought I had the best treat ever.

And then Pat (of the tomatoes) showed up and dropped this in my lap.

It's a pillow.  And I love it so very much.  Because Pat (who by the way is an extraordinary quilter) made this for me from the button bands and collar pieces of my friend Mark's work shirts.  Mark died the night before Thanksgiving in 2009 and I miss him more than you could possibly imagine.  He was a brilliant thinker, a wonderful man, a good friend and a helluva lot of fun.  And on Sunday, we will be gathering to sprinkle his ashes in the Hudson River.  He was a boater and he profoundly loved that river so it is a wonderful new home for him. 

I know the photo isn't great--the lighting in my house is very gentle in the evening--but I wish you all could see this and I wish you all had gotten to spend 5 minutes with Mark. 


So Pat--who I am so proud to call my friend--used her talent and her vision to make me something beautiful out of something that was so terrible and painful.

If that's not generosity of spirit, I don't know what is.

Joy To The World

Did you ever see the episode of Friends when everyone is making fun of the way Phoebe runs and she explains to them that she always runs as if she is running for the swings?  Remember that wonderful feeling of running for the swings when you were a kid?  You didn't care what you looked like or what  you were wearing--all you new was that you were having fun.

Well that's the way my friend Joy knits.  She knits like she's running for the swings.  She does it purely for the fun off it.  She doesn't care if she knits "right" or "wrong" (that's a conversation for another day--there's no such thing as the wrong way to knit).  When she loses a stitch she makes a new one.

I have a group of friends that I gather with often to celebrate our birthdays.  Last year Joy sent out an email to all of us asking us not to get her things for her birthday but rather to do something special with her or find some tools for her creativity.  Oh by the way, did I mention that Joy is by far the most creative person I know?  Click on the link above to see her photos.  They're fabulous.

Now Joy is my oldest friend (I've know her since first grade--I do have one other friend that I've known longer but I didn't see her all through elementary school so Joy wins the oldest friend trophy) and I knew she would never knit herself socks.  In fact, she had once asked me to make her a pair of socks.  So I bought a sock blank, some dye and printed out the instructions and gave them to her to play with.  The plan was that once it was dyed, I would knit them up.  (They're on the needles now but that's a post for another day.)

Joy bought herself a lovely gift at her LYS as well.  It was a kit with some straight up gorgeous yarn and a pattern for a pair of mitts with a little ruffle around the top and the bottom.  I know that I said that there is no wrong way to knit but the way that Joy forms her stitches would totally screw things up if she was knitting in the round.  I gave her a little lesson on other ways to knit and sent her home with some dps to practice on.

Not surprisingly, this year Joy asked me to actually knit those mitts for her as her birthday gift. 

We figured out what she wanted (blue with pink trim) and I got them started.  They knit up so quickly that it was almost a disappointment until I realized that if I left off the bottom ruffle, there was enough yarn to make two pairs!  Woo Hoo!  I was so excited, I even took them on a trip to the beach.

Aren't they adorable.  And they're even cuter on.

And look how great they look on Joy!  I have a feeling that she may be wearing them as mismatched pairs more often than she planned because they just look so damn cute that way. 

Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana

Or a tomato as the case may be in my kitchen right now.

I've been house cleaning this evening, and, as I have mentioned before, I am LAZY!  I am the worlds laziest housekeeper.  And, dag nab it, I'll take it.  I live alone so the only person who is affected by my laziness is me.  And having just watched my first episode of Sister Wives, I am renewing my vows to always keep my own apartment.  Holy crap these people are just nuts.  I mean really.  How freaking needy a man are you that you need four wives?

Sarcasm aside, this show is so profoundly degrading to women.  I was at a party recently and a woman was waxing poetic about certain rap music being degrading to women and it made her worried about her daughters.  And, of course I couldn't stop myself.  Hmm--let's see.  Some asshole singer wants to call a woman a bitch or a ho.  Fine.  I'm totally okay with that freedom of speech thing.  But guess what?  When some rap singer calls a woman a bitch or a ho, at least I have a specific person to point a finger at.  The reality, as I pointed out to the women that I was talking to, is that degradation of women is an accepted social norm.  And that is far more disturbing than some dumbass rap singer (not saying all rap singers are dumbasses--there are a lot of really talented men and women out there).   And while we're at it, let's point out the implied racism here.  I worked for a hip hop music company and was shocked when we were told by MTV that they would not play our video because it had strippers in it.  Surprisingly, they had a video by a white band (okay--it was Aerosmith) loaded chock full of strippers and that was fine because it was white guys.  

As if it's not hard enough being a woman.  We deal with the whole boob thing (my bras cost over $80 and within a few months, the underwires jump ship and pop out at the most inopportune moments--I have yet to see an $80 underwire jock strap).  We deal with the whole period thing ( I'm not even going to go there).  We deal with the whole we make less money than men for the same job--still--thing.  I mean come on girls--some dumb singer is going to be the biggest threat in my life?  I don't think so.

Anyway, I've been housecleaning.  Which means I've been tidying up my studio (okay--my dining room table) and I found some wonderful things that I have yet to stash.

Look at this.

Isn't it pretty?  It's loaded with silk and, although it is not a color that is flattering on me, it will be gorgeous on more than one person that I owe a hand knit gift to.

And then there's this.

I don't even want to tell you how much I paid for this Misti Alpaca Suri.  It was on a ridiculous sale and cost me less than coffee at Starbucks.  It's so damn soft that I can't stand the thought of putting it away until I need it.  I think I'll just keep it out and stroke it for the rest of my life.

As a last thought, I was once in the bathroom at a conference with Gloria Steinem.  She had just made a great speech during which she used the word cunt more than once.  Shocking! As we were walking out of the restroom, I had to say to her "Oh my God, I can't wait to tell everyone I know that I was in the bathroom with Gloria Steinem." 

And then I spent an hour terrified that I had said "Ladies Room" instead of "Bathroom".