Thursday, October 28, 2010

So then...

They took my EZ Pass away.

And just so you know, the cop who takes the E-Z Pass from you (and demands $3) does not appreciate it when you do the whole "Charlie, they took my thumb" scene from The Pope of Greenwich Village.  (P.S.  That scene absolutely rocked my world when I was 15.  My sister had just gotten her driver's license and we went to the movies and saw that and I still haven't gotten over it.)

So they give you this little brown card that says you either have to go into the EZ Pass office with the card or mail the card into them to get your EZ Pass back.  As the mail-in directions were pretty vague and I have to pick up a friend up at Laguardia tomorrow, I decided to go over to the EZ Pass office.  In the rain.

I only mentioned the rain for effect--as if going to the EZ Pass office isn't a terrible enough thought, I had to point out that the whole day was dreary.

So when I got to the EZ Pass office, the first thing I saw was a sign on the door that the staff was "dressing down for diabetes awareness".  What?  I don't get it.  Wearing pink for Breast Cancer--sure, I get that.  Perhaps dressing down because they each donated a formal work outfit to Dress For Succesz--kind of a cool idea.  But dressing down for diabetes--hmmm.  Maybe I'm thick but it made no sense to me.

So I go up to the window staffed by a woman in an orange tank top (which made me think of Tang which is probably not good for a diabetic) and she said, "What's your account number?"  So I said, "I don't know."  So she said "What's your tag number?"  So I said, "I don't know, some cop took it away."  So she said, "You need to have your statement with you."  So I said, "But the card that the cop gave me only said that I had to bring this card.  Here, look.  It says it right here."  So she said, "How do you think I'm going to look up your account?"  So I said, "Can you use my social security number?" So she said, "We don't keep that information." So I said, "How about my driver's license or my license plate."  She just rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth (niiiice).  "So I said, look the cop said to bring this card in and the card just said to bring this card in so how was I supposed to know that I had to bring a statement."  So she said "The cop doesn't know what you have to bring in."  So I said, "But he told me what I was supposed to bring in.  How was I supposed to know that he was lying to my face?  Like a dog.  Was I just supposed to pull that out of thin air?"  So she rolled her eyes again.  So I said, "Look, there has to be a way that you can look up my account!"

So she said, "What's your phone number?"

And she pulled up my account.  (In the rain.)

But wait, it get's better. (In the rain.)

So she says, "You have $25 on your account and the new tag is going to cost you $10 so you'll have $15 on your account.  You can't use it until after noon tomorrow; out of state, you have to wait until after noon the next day."

So I said, "Why do I have to pay for a tag that you took away from me."   So she said, "You just put the $25 on the account the morning you were trying to use it."  So I said, "Yeah, and your phone system said "You have $25 available on your account.  Thank you for calling EZ Pass.""  So she said, "Well the computer doesn't know."  So I said, "Some computer somewhere knew because otherwise how would the liar cop know to take my tag."  So she said, "When you deposit a check in the bank, do you expect to be able to use the money right away."  So I said, "You're not the bank.  You're EZ Pass.  When I go the bank and deposit a check, it's someone else's money until it clears.  And it doesn't show up in my balance.  I get that.  But when I go to the A&P and pay with my money--like I paid you with my money--they let me take my groceries home with me.  They don't make me wait until noon the next day until I can pick my groceries up.  And if I make a pasta salad and try to take it out of state before two days have passed, they don't take it away from me at the GWB."

So she rolls her eyes again, hands me a slip of paper and says "Pick up your new tag at window 14."

That was yesterday.

You don't even want to know about today.

BadKitten Day 12 seems quite appropriate.


Permission to Unwind said...

OMG. Haven't had a minute to read my favorite bloggies for ages, and yours was the first post on my list this evening. I know it's a sad story (in the rain, even), but it actually made me laugh out loud. Tang shirts. EZ Passes.


cathy said...

Why did the cop take the easy pass. Ours fills automatically from out credit card.