Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I Am the World's Worst Passenger

We abandoned Chez Chaos this weekend and took a daycation out to Pennsylvania.  It turned out to be more than a day which was just fine with me.

I'm usually the driver but this time I suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea for me to get a few hours of knitting time in while my Handy Man drove.  I just forgot to tell him that I really suck at being the passenger.  And I mean REALLY SUCK!  I have a friend who has threatened to put a burlap sack over my head whenever she has to drive me anywhere.  I give directions.  I check the mirrors.  I look over my shoulder.   But the worst part is, I flinch.

I flinch a lot.

Which is bad.

Luckily, my Handy Man is also a very patient man who understands me (for the most part) so I didn't drive him crazy.  After we made it up the loop-de-loop from the Major Deegan and got over the GWB, I calmed down a little and settled in with my Citron.  The ride up the loop-de-loop was definitely going to be a make or break moment for us.  I hate that thing on a good day and I avoid it at all costs but we had stopped in the Bronx to get bread and I couldn't really say, "Hey, let's go all the way across the Bronx, waste a half hour and pay a toll" just to avoid the loop-de-loop. 

There's always traffic on it and there's a big merge in the middle of it and you're up really really high which I don't like at all, ever, anywhere and then for a random 20 feet you're on solid ground again and then you're up even higher and there are 18 wheelers and holy crap on a cracker I'm never going to survive this.  And if that's what it's like when I'm driving, you can only imagine what it was like when I was the passenger.  I had to cover my eyes until we got under the apartments (you have to be from NY to understand what that means but just trust me, it's a real place.) 

From there on out, it was smooth sailing.  We had a peaceful, restful weekend notwithstanding a tumble out of bed and a bloody shin.  (It wasn't so much the fall as the sudden stop.)  The plan was to head home Sunday afternoon but there were fresh tomatoes and fresh corn and a swimming pool and a little nap in the sun and I'm just not strong enough to resist that sort of a Sunday.

We made it home before midnight, stopped and had a quick nightcap and slept the sleep of the innocent.  By the way, I drove home.


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